I can’t believe I just put my first baby on the bus. Just like that, shoved you all alone into the great big world. After we’ve preached at you for 5 years about never getting in a car with people you don’t know, and we made you get on a bus with complete strangers. I know today was hard for you, and one day you’ll understand it was hard for me too. But I had to let you go.
You were scared. But I was so proud. Watching my brave girl step up those stairs. It didn’t matter that you were second guessing this decision. You did what you had to do. I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but you are ready for this world. You are so strong, and courageous. But that sad little face absolutely broke my heart. You have no idea how thankful I was when “Ms. Jenny” grabbed your hand and offered for you to sit with her. I could see the relief on your face knowing you wouldn’t be alone, and I was relieved too.
I’ve watched you grow. From day one I have loved you. You were my first baby. The first one to burst my heart open and make it grow. From the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew my life would never be the same. The second you were born, you turned your head and looked around, eager to see the new world. Then you rested your sweet little head on my chest. You filled my soul with so much happiness that I never knew was possible.
Some things never change! Even as a baby you were as wild and sassy as you are now! (In the best way of course.) As I sit here writing this with tear filled eyes and reminiscence about how you’e grown through the years, I am reminded that I have been given such an incredible gift; the gift of being your mama. From the first day we brought you home, to your first steps. It all flew by so quickly. I am reminded of that today. We take life’s moments for granted. Now my silent kitchen is missing your chatter of “why?” and your silly stories. I miss your little giggle filling the hall. I hope that you’re giggling continues throughout the day, as you learn and meet new friends. You were so nervous about making friends today, but you’ll quickly learn that with your contagious smile and unique personality, you’ll never have a problem with making friends.
Today you are given the opportunity to shine, to get out there and spread your wings and fly. If I didn’t have to, I don’t think i’d ever share you with the rest of the world. Just keep you all to myself! The last five years Daddy and I have been blessed to feel the pride of parenthood which only grows with each new milestone you achieve. We’ve been there to feel the heartache of forcing you to get those shots; the excitement and awe of your first words, your first steps. And in return we’ve been gifted in sticky kisses, tight bear hugs, and endless tickles that we wouldn’t trade for the world.
Today was filled with mixed emotions that one day you’ll understand. Today we felt pride, for we’ve raised you to be such a smart, strong, and creative little girl. We felt fear, as we send you off on your own, trusting your teachers and our prayers to keep you happy and safe. We felt immense joy, for getting to share this moment with you. We feel the empty loneliness of a home without you running around in it. As parents, its our job to teach you love, and respect, and I’d like to think we’ve superseded most expectations. You were born with your roots in our hearts where you will always be nourished and have a place to call home, but today you were the wings to soar far above the clouds.
Amelia Kristine Carter, I love you, for all that your are, for all that you have been, and all that you will become. You are going to do magnificent things in this life. And I hope one day you will read this and be able to look back on today, and see that kindergarten wasn’t so scary after all. We are always here, standing behind you for every step of the way.